From quantity to quality

I am writing sitting on my sofa, outside it’s a sunny, bright and cold day. 

It’s the third week of my quarantine: I rarely go out, just to throw out the rubbish. 

I won’t be talking about politics nor about the practical impact of this global crisis. Instead, I will be talking about how I am living these days.

One could think it’s a terrible, terrible period. As our lives as we are used to know them have been paused, one could think life loses its meaning. 

One could think that all days have become horrendously identical one to another. 

One could think that cutting all relationships that are part of our daily lives is leaving us lonely and isolated. 

Instead, as time goes on, I have been feeling more and more serene everyday.

In all honesty, at the beginning, I reacted very badly, because in the exact moment the lockdown was announced, I realized my boyfriend, who was supposed to visit in the following days, wouldn’t come anymore. And I still don’t know when we’ll meet again (if you think about it, the thing that scares us the most is not knowing when this will end, especially because we are so used to reason in terms of deadlines, time slots and calendars…).

But after this initial shock, I have gradually come to accept this situation and the more I am fine with it, the more peaceful I feel. 

As I am sitting on my sofa and looking outside the window, I am reflecting on how materialistic our society is and how materialistic our minds have consequently become. 

Thinking about my life, I have realized that in the past, when I was in high school, I was much more obsessed with not only things (clothes) but also experiences (friends, trips). All of this made me feel incredibly happy and full.

I have never been superficial, far from it. However, I was much more focused on quantity than I am now and that gave me an illusion of fullness. 

As time went on and especially now I am realizing that I switched my focus to quality. And this means that I’d rather have few but trustworthy friends than many yet fake ones; it also means I still like to buy clothes sometimes, but I’d rather spend that money on a dinner or a cake to share with someone; it finally means that I don’t feel the need to fill my schedule as much as possible, but I’d rather take the time for myself, without feeling guilty if I don’t always say yes.

This time of reclusion and isolation, by paradox makes my mind work relentlessly, in a positive and creative way. 

I was reflecting that this situation scares us a lot, on top of real health and economical-related worries, because it empties our days of external routines and distractions. And by that, I mean things we have to do or that keep ourselves busy and engaged.

Taking all of this out of the equation, we panic. We don’t have to physically go to work everyday, we cannot go to places to do sports or to enjoy ourselves, we cannot physically meet people. In other words, we cannot fill our days with things, activities and people. 

And most of us are afraid of this void because when our mind isn’t busy, the risk is that it reveals us unpleasant truths about ourselves and our lives. Those that sometimes, under normal circumstances, keep us awake at night.

During these weeks, in the silence of our homes (physical but also mental), our minds speak volumes. 

And they speak of purpose and happiness. In other words, they bluntly question us on the meaning of our lives. 

And we cannot suffocate them with the noise of our daily lives anymore.

As hard as this period may seem, it also offers us an antidote for all the uncomfortable thoughts that may arise: switching from quantity to quality.

We have much more free time, so let’s use it for something good, right now.

Let’s call those people we haven’t talked to in ages, let’s make somebody feel not alone, let’s read that book we never find the time for, let’s try a new recipe, let’s do a board game with our family, let’s paint a sunset, let’s learn to play a new instrument, let’s write a book (or just one line), let’s sing a song, let’s sunbathe like lizards on our terraces. 

In brief, let’s look for the essence of what makes us feel happy and let’s put it into practice, everyday.